Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
