a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
