Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize