we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
