I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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