ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
