I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
