Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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