I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
