i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
