Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
