were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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