Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
