I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
