You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
