Only a mothe r could love this liver
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
