Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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