I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
