Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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