Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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