it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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