I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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