im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
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We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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