that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Please don't give away my fajitas
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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