No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
