awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
