Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
