Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
