dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
