Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize