next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
