is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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