5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
