How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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