Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
