needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
