i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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