butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you still have your period?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
