Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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