just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
