that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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