it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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