Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he was CRYING into my vagina
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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