He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think a kid would responsible me up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
