so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
