They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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