I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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