Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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