its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
