She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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