the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
