I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We need a shit load of segways right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
