i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
