he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My bed smells like the plague
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
