I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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