evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
