umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
