I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
